Prayers Needed


This is not life-threatening, but my family and I are lost right now, with very little energy to find our way. Please warriors, brothers and sisters, pilgrim church, anyone who has ears to hear, we just ask for a moment of the kind of kindness we learned in heaven to be directed toward a family in need. Thank you.

Amaya Engleking

August Rainbows

Creede Rainbow

Photo by Amaya Engleking

Just out of the shower, baby in bed, husband putting toddler to sleep; I look down the hall to see the front room awash in that lemon-zest glow that is common of the dawn, but a prized gift for bedtime.  Still seeing a light rain to the west where the sun is ready to slip behind the mountains, without hesitating I grab the camera and bolt out the kitchen door, sure there will be a heaven-sent rainbow in this reminding light. Read More

Deep I (Meditation on the Psalms: II)

In the womb I talk with my hands

And every sign is another stanza

Of the poem, of our home

We all delight in as a dance

Meditating on it day and night

Communing with our hearts’ lamplight

Surrendered will, lying still

We become the heavenly right

For man has shamed oft before

The blessed counsel of the poor

Because the Lord is their reward

And place of refuge forevermore Read More

Homesick Angel

Pearl2

‘Pearl’ by Amaya Engleking

Words are nutrients for the lone poet. She who, in loving devotion, asks for revelations from God, is shown the brilliant design in golden fish-scale scapes layered as soft pearly flakes– rising miracles from the cracked crust of the earth, with each new world existing both for, and because of, divine love. She dips into one pool and each ripple is a new-born dream, manifest as human on earth, as star in sky, as song in space. Read More

Brocade

Broken brocade;

Where do I put this sequin when the sequence

Falls like notes from the cellar door?

On my knees searching on the dirty waxed floor

Hands graze gypsy mambo scuff-marks

And dirty martini olive-swords.

Candles glow in distant red bulbs,

My search waxes dim.

How does poetry save the world like God? Read More

A Conversion

hunanpollution

Dark day in Hengyang, small city in the middle of China. Five million small. Mao Zedong from a nearby city. The dishwater sky blending right into the slate-gray outline of the industrial city. Dismal to view from the little metal balcony, and even more disgusting to go forth into the leaden din. Last time I was in the country I swore I’d never teach English and least of all to middle-schoolers. But that’s what I was doing in this city where I saw a homeless man masturbate in front of an elementary school. Right outside the gate through which passed hundreds of pigtails and oversized backpacks on tiny bodies. Read More

Blog and Be Blogged

Karyn at Saturated in Seattle has taken time out of her exciting life of writing articles for the Huffington Post and bee-keeping to honor her favorite blogs.  Thanks for thinking of me:)  Let me just say that reading Karyn’s posts and her testimony make me a better person.  The way she lets God penetrate her wounds and heal her from the inside out, and how she bares her scars for the whole world to see is power.  Her words linger with me and don’t slide like raindrops off a rooftop, but saturate my cells and transform my being.  I am very grateful that we can encourage each other in our writing and in sisterhood in Christ.

So in accepting this accolade, I am to answer her below questions, list 11 facts about myself, and recognize some of my favorite bloggers.  I know I’ve come across blogs that wish to remain “award-free” and I don’t want to push this, so if any of you bloggers mentioned below want to participate, please let me know.

1. How did you come up with your blog name?

The most prominent theme in my writing/life for the past eight years has been my conversion and learning how real and hard the Gospel is.  Actually, only by writing about my conversion experience do I cognitively figure it out, which of course is not necessary to be a follower of Christ but it’s a fascinating subject for my brain to contemplate and derive answers.  Then, ‘Isosceles.’  I love the sound of that word, and especially coupled with ‘Gospel.’  Both the consonance and assonance, along with the imagery of the Trinity, is striking to the poet’s senses.

     2. Favorite thing about blogging?

By far the best thing about blogging is the genuine connections made with other writers all over the world.  I love how we get to know each other by our hearts alone.  It’s like the communion of saints I experience while reading books.  This is one thing the internet has an advantage over real-life interactions where judgments based on shallow things seem inevitable.  The last writer’s group I joined encouraged me to start blogging because of my writing, but their stories of creating community by blogging, sometimes actually traveling and meeting their blogging friends, was the real reason I convinced my husband we finally needed internet connection so I could find my own kindred spirits out there.

     3. Hardest thing about blogging?

Blogging on WordPress tests my patience, and that is a good, but hard thing.  For two whole months I put up posts and had very few readers and no followers.  So sometimes I thought, “What am I doing wasting my time like this?”  It was difficult to navigate through the administration and set-up process.  It seemed like it took me forever to figure out what a ‘widget’ was.  I had trouble finding blogs that I connected with, too.  But I learned as I went, like life.  When I found a good blog, I would also check out its readers’ blogs.  When I found a thoughtful comment, I would go to that person’s site.  It’s actually refreshing to go the ‘slow-but-steady’ pace when everyone in the world would seemingly sell his soul to have it all RIGHT NOW!

     4. Go to music?

I have a blog post on my top 17 songs of all time, and if you see it, you’ll know that this question is impossible to answer, given that it took me months to compile that highly diverse list.  I’m a dancer and a musician and groove to 50’s jazz, 60’s soul, 70’s progressive rock, 80’s Roxette, 90’s grunge, 00’s STS9-type stuff, and there’s some good contemporary world music too.  I can’t get into Christian rock.  My favorite classical composers are Dvořák, Chopin, and Shostakovich.  I never listen to music while writing.

5. Who do you admire most? Why?

I admire those who live the truth of the beatitudes, even if they’ve never heard the ‘sermon on the mount’ but know it because it is the truth in all of our hearts.  This, I believe, is what Jesus meant when he said that no one comes to heaven but through me.  Living the teachings is the hardest and often most courageous thing we can do here on earth, no matter the religion/culture among which we live.

6. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?

New Zealand to visit my brother.  I also hope to hike the Colorado portion of the Sangre de Cristos, a colorful mountain range in southern Colorado with my family, once the babies are older.

  1. Would you rather live in the city or country?

I’ve lived in Chongqing, a city of over 15 million people and currently live on the outskirts of a mountain town with a population of about 600.  There are advantages and drawbacks to both and every size in between.  I just want to be moved by God and know that I’m right where I need to be in the present.

8. Favorite meal?

Shui Zhu Yu, a Chinese fish and celery dish, with spicy black bean sauce and Sichuan numbing peppercorns.  I usually make it with cod and serve it over jasmine rice.  Also, whenever we get to the city we treat ourselves to sushi (sake-salmon and saba-mackerel are my favorite nigiri) with a good beer.

     9. One piece of advice you would give to a new blogger?

Just as Karyn said and I tell new bloggers if it comes up, don’t write for anyone but for yourself.  It may seem a paradox, but when you are honest in your writing (writing for yourself) you will offer much more substance to readers than if you try and write something you think potential readers want to hear.  “Inspirational” blogs tend to be anything but that because most of them are tepid extractions of wisdom gained the hard way elsewhere.  There’s no rawness.  There’s no vulnerability.  These qualities are essential to a good blog.

10. If you had a free afternoon, how would you spend it?

Face-painted and dancing to a drum circle in the woods, near a river, in uninhibited praise.

11. What is the last book you read? Would you recommend it?

I’m re-reading all of Annie Proulx’s works so I can make a list of my favorite similes and metaphors.  She’s fantastic.  My favorite author.  Although many say she’s too dark for their taste, I couldn’t recommend her enough, if you can stand a bit of grit.  Although I still have two books to go, and she’s coming out with a new novel in June, be on the lookout for the list of analogies in a future blog post, months in the making.  Here’s a taste: “Year after year rich people moved into the mountains and built glass houses at high elevations; at sunset when the valleys were smothered in leathery shadow, the heliodor mansions flashed like an armada signaling for the attack.” Heart Songs and Other Stories, ‘Negatives’ p. 191

Now for 11 randoms about me:

  1. The most awesome little corner of this planet I’ve ever seen was over 200 miles of the Grand Canyon from the Colorado River on an 18-day raft trip in 2009. I also got my dreadlocks on that trip as I forgot to bring a hair brush, and have had them since.  A good souvenir!
  2. I’m embarrassingly bad at many day-to-day things (like small talk and cleaning) but I kick ass at baseball, ‘Evil’ Sudokus, and Crypto-quotes (codes in which one letter equals another and you have to solve the quote.)
  3. My husband and I met as co-instructors of teenagers in the wilderness of the El Capitan, Sierra Blanca, and Chama regions of New Mexico.
  4. I love conducting choirs and orchestras and I’m the cantor at the little catholic church.
  5. My dad used to bring me and my siblings, when we were too young to comprehend, to pro-life rallies at the state capitol. What I remember of those rallies was the anger and shouting from one side of Lincoln Ave. to the other, pro-choice/pro-life.  The division.  My impression was that the two sides wanted to strangle one another.
  6. I lived in China for four years.
  7. I never thought of myself as an artist but one night while I was living in a Tibetan farmhouse, the Dalai Lama told me to draw him in a dream. So when I awoke I tried and was amazed that, with just a good bit of focus, I could draw!  I’ve been drawing portraits ever since.
  8. I stopped eating meat (except fish) when I was 10.
  9. But if I’m hiking the jungles on the border of Myanmar and a poor tea farmer invites me into his home and his wife slaughters their only chicken and serves me not only the flesh but also the blood in a bowl with scallions and ginger, then I’m going to eat and drink.
  10. I used to DJ a classical music radio show.
  11. Faith is truly the most incredible thing that can be conceived in this realm of earth and gravity. For when one has faith in the one who created everything, life turns from this bleak domain of getting led by Satan’s chains of popular opinion, political and philosophical ideals, mortgages and investments, the current science, and societal norms; to a whole new life that is so dynamic because these things are not dragging us around anymore. This freed life shows us a glimpse of the heavenly realm. So it is my only fervent prayer: that every soul chooses faith.

It is a flash from the state of non-belief to faith, There is no more than a syllable between doubt and certainty: Prize this precious moment dearly, It is our life’s only fruit.

-From the Ruba’iyat of Omar Khayyam

Here are some blogs I wish to recognize:

Perennial I think Bethany’s blog was the first one I followed.  A believer in God, she is introspective and opens up about her relationship with her parents, her marriage, motherhood, and her growth in spirituality.  I know she’s busy with her baby boy, but I only wish she would post more often; wise beyond her years, I savor her words.  Here are some of my favorite posts of hers: https://bgoodsy.wordpress.com/2015/10/07/soundtrack-of-my-childhood/ and https://bgoodsy.wordpress.com/2013/04/16/my-father-lies-over-the-ocean-so-bring-back-the-daughter-in-me/

Turhon McdowellSome future collaboration may be in order with this beat-inspired writer of poetry prose, whose ‘About’ section begins, “I am the twentieth century. I am the ragtime and the tango; sans-serif, clean geometry…”  His latest poem was absolutely stunning: https://turhonmcdowell.wordpress.com/2016/04/27/aprils-angel/

Snapshot Couplets Mario’s catholic/spiritual poetry convicts the reader in a beautiful way.  His latest poem asks you whether you would save all of the words ever written, including the holy words of scripture, or save a human life from burning in a fire.  His poems are often rhymed, with clear rhythm, and are accompanied by his own photography.  I once re-blogged his poem, The Cantor: https://snapshotcouplets.wordpress.com/2016/03/19/the-cantor/

Gathering Stones Strung On Threads Nearly every morning I am blessed to start my day with Peter’s beautifully crafted, poignant poems, which are followed by relevant words from masters of language and life. https://notehelfer.wordpress.com/2016/04/05/dancing-in-the-dark-2/

A Noun Walks Into A Bar Brilliant poetry and prose set in Rhode Island.  Here’s a favorite to start you off: https://anounwalksintoabar.wordpress.com/2015/12/26/yule-log/

Towns, Junctions, and Interchanges Formerly ‘A Gift of Opals’, Maia’s a true poet and a fellow lover of baseball.  You have no idea how happy that makes me!  I like how she also gives you a short origin story of each of her poems.  Here’s one: https://tjipoems.wordpress.com/2015/10/19/the-tulip-merchant/

Pursue Peace Bold in opinion, a fierce lover of God, and her short fiction will move you to tears.  I know Karyn recognized her too, but just wanted to give a second shout-out.  Here’s a short story: https://pursuepeaceblog.wordpress.com/2016/04/05/living-outside-the-cocoon/

Patchwork Gene writes about everything from reflections on the significant spaces in the Bible, to humorous getaways with his wife, to grieving the death of his son.  On his eclectic blog he shares his gorgeous artwork as well.  https://genekiepura.wordpress.com/2014/08/25/my-addiction/

Compensating For Salvation Work

tower of bodies

Some raving liberals and conservatives want to make it a law that it is mandatory to birth in hospitals.  The older I get (I don’t know how I’ve missed it before) I see the near-desperation to which people get to exert control over other people.  What in our nature makes us corrode to such a crazed spiritual state?  I’m reminded of the paintings depicting hell, the ones where there were all of these naked bodies stepping on and smashing each other to get to the top; but the scope of the paintings never showed ‘a top.’  Sure on the outside we’re composed and accomplished, and whatever ‘work’ we’re up to is for the benefit of humanity and/or the economy.  But our dirty naked and neglected souls!  We’ve long given up on what actually matters and go bustling about in the affairs of others’ and a myriad of vanities in hopes of, what?  Compensating for salvation work?

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