Cracked

My docility seeming fragility
Have been spread too thin
Cracking like high-altitude skin
Exposing the damage caused by elemental sin;
This is not how it’s supposed to be, friends,
Taking directives from directionless men and other dead ends.
We are Read More

Mountain 

Photography by Peter Holme

Threshold. What it takes, the thunderous energy, impossible vitality, to get to a state of relaxation, a feeling that I have adequate energy and vitality… “You need a sail,” suggests Joshua when I tell him it feels like Tom Hanks in Cast Away trying with all his might to get beyond the surf and become un-lost. Sometimes it seems not worth the effort, the expenditure far greater than the reward.

I drove back home alone with the girls after a weekend trip to Denver to see my mom. Heading south, the blessing of a special on Paraguayan guitarist Augustine Barrios filled Read More

Labor


I was inspired while reading the chapter on motherhood, and apparently the baby in the womb was too, for after fifteen days past her estimated due date — as I tried intense mountain hiking, bumpy 4-wheel-driving over Engineer Pass, dancing my pregnant booty off to saloon ragtime, cooking with Himalayan chili peppers, an all-night full-moon vigil Read More

Lyrical Love: Wet Sand

Painting by Gregor Gleiwitz

Drug addiction and mental illness are widely known to be, however debilitating to one’s health and relationships, benefactors for art creation. The song, ‘Wet Sand’ off the 2006 Red Hot Chili Peppers’ album, Stadium Arcadium, and written by John Frusciante and Anthony Kiedis, describes what it’s like living such a self-destructive paradox. I believe the appeal to try mind-bending substances and the twisting of the word ‘crazy’, making it a desirable trait and a near-virtue, are symptoms of a dying spirit desperate to be validated, nurtured, and ultimately, reflected in the wide world, Read More

Handmade 

 

Behold! upward surge through the diadem
Sun lifts the people, its prayer for all of them:
‘This day will be a glimpse of Holy Spirit,
Some will kneel adoring, some will fear it.
Yet all who rise be taken up in the Word,
Though evil built a world and deterred
Creaturehood from knowing its Womb,
The love generated by Bride and Groom; Read More

Born

‘Fulfillment’ by Adam Scott Miller

The pain starts at night and I see myself holding you, your father looking into your eyes and finding a part of himself he had been missing. By the bright morning and cruel red-winged blackbird song though, there is no pain; your crib remains filled only with blankets townspeople and your grandmothers have knitted for you.

In the warm pool in the backyard under the canopy of the aspen grove, I Read More

Gestation

Jhinu dusk. Photography by Amaya Engleking

Pregnant in Jhinu, a hot springs village in the Annapurna region of Nepal, the clear waters ran down and I saw the richest valley in the world: those who live so close to the source of the earth’s last glaciers. Listen, little baby, to the word of God, holy water flowing down the mighty Himal, feeding the Indus, Brahmaputra, and Ganga and all who receive sustenance from these rivers of living gospel. The ones who can hear say, “We the children of the Most High, are led to the highest peaks so we may pray here. By our being here in constant communion with God, the snows come and feed the world living waters.”

Jhinu hot springs, Annapurna. Photography by Joshua Engleking

But in the Langtang temple on the festival day I felt alone Read More