Photography by Summer Murdock

“Leave the kids with Dad. You’ll be more fun without them.”

I just don’t get it. Have you been letting the Beyoncés of the world get to you? You, once on wisdom’s path, now believing pride is power is a person’s worth. The pedestal trap. How can you feign to represent the people when your lifestyle reflects such hedonism and elitism? Is that what you and other politicians think? That you are “smarter and more ambitious” than most everyone else and therefore are afforded the right to speak for them? The dissolution and despair I feel when you tell me about your superiority to others, including and especially over your own mother is not because of some intellectual reasoning I’ve come to deduce and therefore let lead my beliefs and life; but it’s visceral, immediate. It hurts my soul to see a temporal identity abusing its own soul. All for the age-old lies of worldly success. I know it angered you when I brought this up before, and I’m forever grappling with how to love and what it’s supposed to look like when challenged with the presence of an adversarial life.

I know God made us sisters for a good reason, and though I’m often perplexed by what that is and how we can start to heal rather than do further harm, I’m certain one of us ‘winning’ is far from what we’re supposed to learn from this lifetime bond. So where do we go from here? We grew from the same womb but whole worlds have since grown in the space between, triangulation cordoned by opaque veils and evanescent memories of girlhood…


2018, Amaya Engleking

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  1. Frank J. Tassone · February 24

    Heartfelt, Amaya. Family: often so complicated!

  2. Rick · February 24

    Powerful writing filled with so many emotions being a dad myself to 2 children. Kinda early for me to think clearly so this comment is to let you know I will be praying for you and your family and to thank you for sharing your gifts! Will read again later and perhaps comment again this afternoon or tomorrow I appreciate you!

  3. Angelo Devlin · February 24

    Great post. Makes me appreciate the good relationship with my sister.

  4. Jay Kaushal · February 26

    It’s a lot better for bros though. Say what you will but I’ve normally never seen women get along well with each other.. especially in a larger group like men do. It’s an evolutionary thing perhaps dating back to our hunting gathering days…

    • Cheryl Ruffing · February 26

      I agree. There are biological differences between men and women. We are designed for different purposes. All of it affects the ways in which we relate to others.

      Amaya, I feel your pain. My sister and I have been back and forth in our relationship throughout our adult lives. Sometimes things are great between us, and at other times, they’re horrid. I just try to ride out the bad times, knowing that things change and reminding myself that we owe it to each other to understand that emotions don’t last forever, and words shouldn’t either.

      By the by, my relationship with my brother is always much more even-keeled. ; )

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