These stratified ashes

Make the same flat earth lines

Year upon year

Without uplift from within,

Seismic vibrations long since


Pews half-emptied of replaced knees
And other religions.

What is in your iron core as you put your hands in prayer pose and let the host dissolve on your tongue, grumbling your insides, moving you only to think of the barbecue joint down the road and sinking your teeth into saucy pulled pork,

In only fifteen more minutes

Ten if we skip the benediction?

When the rumble of the Body is a call

To release the pressure

Built by mass upon mass

Ashes upon ashes

Of flesh compacting atop the suffocated spirit,

Accumulating tax write-offs and dust

In dead end corners of your summer house that needs just one more remodel.

And then just one more…

Can’t you cast it all off, erupt from your dormancy, and declare,

“I want You to live!”


I give up church for forty days.


2017, Amaya Engleking



  1. Shattered in Him · March 2

    “moving you only to think of the barbecue joint down the road and sinking your teeth into saucy pulled pork”

    Wow. That can be such truth. Beautiful, as always.

    • Gospel Isosceles · March 2

      …And so judgmental and juicy hypocrisy too. I might as well be the one eating that pork sandwich. I feel guilty for letting the sins of others bother me, but it is true that I am so disappointed in the Church…

      • Shattered in Him · March 2

        I ended up responding to the comment you left on my post. I thought I did here, but my alert thingy got all wonky and weird.

  2. Pingback: Secret First Draft: A Site of the Sudden Denouement Literary Collective
  3. Soul Gifts · March 16

    Such raw honesty here. And a nice twist to the forty days of fasting at Lent at the end 🙂

    • Gospel Isosceles · March 20

      Thank you. It was tough to write as I usually have it in my heart to defend the Church, or at least be a silent beacon of light within Her/Us. Lately however, I have overwhelming doubt pervading my faith, especially its place within the actual institution of the Catholic church. But God knows. Thanks again for your comment.

      • Soul Gifts · March 20

        Just follow your heart – let Love guide you and you will know what is best for you to do 🙂

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