It wasn’t the cult that made me do these things.  I am as unaffiliated as the man stranded on the island who built a swing.  We all thought he was out of his wits –or maybe that’s all that was left—but here we are all on the same universal pendulum and no one ever says a damn thing about how fuckin crazy we all are not to jump off.  Minds and cells all jostled from a lifetime of the up-and-down, back-and-forth, yet we still convince ourselves we know what is best.  Go down swinging, that’s how we like it.  What do I care about a guy who got it right in his dizzied brain?  How was I supposed to know that jumping is the only way off this nightmarish ride?


What would it be like to love everyone again?

Here we are on a mountainside, sitting on a sandstone boulder rising above a mixed coniferous and deciduous forest.  We are close friends, brought together as only God can do; if I were left to my own reason I wouldn’t have chosen these.  I wouldn’t be happy like I am now.  We all have instruments and we play ancient tunes, ancient not so much in the songs themselves but when we all learned them: knowing the beats before we were born.  We listen to each other as questions come up and we meditate.  We answer one another, if so led to do.  Sometimes we dance and sometimes we smile.  There are tears as well, remembering.  And even though there is a slight fog throughout the valley, we can still see the denser white of campfire smoke rising in threads through the fog, stippled about the sides of the mountains lining the valley.  We are not the only group of brethren communing with each other, the land, and God.  This is holy feat.  Such societies exist throughout the world, though as sparse as the sacred campfire rings.  And as the metaphor suggests, they are indeed the light of the world.

It sounds like something city people need: answering questions not by thinking but by writing and letting the treasures from the subconscious rise up and out through the pen.  I like dancing with the Hare Krishna’s because they love God too, and I like their music for uninhibited praise.  If you loved people as you so proclaim, then you would humble yourself before them.  How can you show love by baring your pride and inwardly writhe with envy?  Be effective missionaries.

© 2016, Amaya Engleking


One comment

  1. Saturated In Seattle · April 19, 2016

    Choosing (and I think this is the big word here) to live intentionally and purposefully deeply rooted in all things love for one another, even those we don’t know—especially for those we don’t know– is what this life is all about. I believe that is what God meant when He said “Go” and “Do”. I think we are given this choice over and over throughout our days and in a variety of ways. What we do with it says everything about us and what we say we believe. Like they say, “Actions speak louder than words”. Personally, I want to love better and longer and deeper—more wholly and holy. I know this desire is where most people end and not begin. That will not be my story!

    I love your writing. I love your thoughts and convictions. I love that you share them with the world in hopes to show us love and beauty that will move us into action whether it be internally or externally. Thank you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s