What the Heart Desires

I came into the room to see my six month-old daughter chewing on a ladybug and listening to Hare Krishna Hare Rama.

I never wanted to be a mom. I’d look at mothers around me with their horde of messy faces and lost shoes. How it took all weary-long morning just to get out the door. And then they’d go around telling people every little cutesy thing their kids did that day. That kind of life repelled me. Where was the depth? Read More

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A Daughter’s Birth, A Family’s Birth

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At 2:30am, July 25, 2014 I found myself awake with some cramping and anxiety: about my decision try castor oil once more later that morning and that the baby still hadn’t come to us. If the baby won’t have been born by this weekend–already two weeks past her due date–it’s likely we would have to give up the idea of giving birth at home. But something had changed today. I was full of peace as I read the chapters ‘Motherhood’ and ‘Paternity’ in Fulton Sheen’s Three To Get Married. Then I noticed that the cramping was getting more intense. And more regular. I just really focused on God during each wave and thanked Him that the labor was finally beginning. I asked to be forgiven for losing trust over the past two long weeks and He answered me through holy words of his servant-priest. Read More